


Room 101

by Darkness_in_light



Series: Hellverse au [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Also now that all the triggers are out of the way, Beating, Blood, Burning, But Mostly Hurt, Child Abuse, Cutting, Death Threats, Denailing, Electrocution, Emotional Abuse, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Guns, Hallucinations, Hellverse au, Homophobia, Hospitalization, Hurt Yuri Plisetsky, Hurt/Comfort, JJ has kids, Kidnapping, Knives, M/M, Mental Abuse, Near Death, PTSD, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Self Harm, Swearing, TW alcoholism, Trans Ji, Trans Male Character, Tw waterboarding, Verbal Abuse, Violence, Vomit, Whiping, Yuri is poly in this au, Yuri was abused by his parents, anger issues, conversion therapy, finger injury, serious injury, theres a lot of hurt, tw torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2018-12-03 13:40:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11533392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkness_in_light/pseuds/Darkness_in_light
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky 19 year old leader of the mens figure skating division has finally found a place in his life where he is truelly happy. He has friends, Godchildren, and two wonderful boyfriends. Though this is all shattered when his mother gets released from prison five years early. She kidnaps him and puts him though hell throwing his perfect life though it with him. (please read trigger warnings because this story is a mess of pain and  misery. Also it’s best to read the prologues first as they give some background information)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So after those lead up shots we're here the start of Hellverse. Let's get this hell started

It's too early to be up especially on my day off, but ah well I'm supposed to meet up Ji so it's worth it. I roll over to the warmth on the other side of the bed. “Morning Beka.” I mumbled nuzzling his neck and holding close to him.

“Morning Yura.” He mumbles kissing me softly and wrapping his arms around me, I snuggle up in his arms and kiss him back relishing in the early morning moment.

“I'm gonna go make coffee do you want some?” I hear grumbling from beside me. “Okay I'll get you some.” I mumbled kissing him again and getting up to get ready. I'll worry about everything after I make coffee and wake up some more.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal I'm too lazy to make a real breakfast, and it's not like I have practice so I don't really need real food. Just as I finish making my breakfast Beka walks in. “I made coffee it's in the pot.” I mutter taking a few bites of my cereal.

“So have you picked the name for your theme yet?” Beka asks as he sits down with his own cereal.

“I'm still thinking I still have like four weeks before Rostelecom when I have to officially decide but I'm thinking pride. The entire programs are about that.” I say looking at him. “I'm nervous though even though I know I'll qualify I always do.”

“You'll be fine Yura, your programs are looking amazing.” Beka kisses me on the cheek and I lean into his touch.

“Yeah I know. I have to go get ready remember I'm having lunch with Ji since he's stuck in Russia for the day.” I pull myself into Beka's lap and rest there for a moment. “But I'm sure I can wait a few minutes.” I pull him into a long kiss relaxing into his body as we kiss. Everything is okay when I'm with him, I can breathe. When we break after a moment I smile. “I love you, more than anything else.”

“I love you too Yura.” We stay like that for a long time just holding each other me resting my head on his shoulder, until finally we realize we have to move.

“I better go get ready, I’ll see you after lunch, and then we can do whatever you want to tonight.” I mumble kissing him again and standing up to go take my shower.

After my shower I braid my hair into a fishtail and put a t-shirt and jeans. I do a light bit of eyeliner and some red on my lip. When I'm happy with my appearance I grab my bag and throw my wallet and phone in it.

As I walk out the room I give Beka one last kiss goodbye, I don't want to let go of him. There's the feeling in the back of my stomach, I feel like if I leave our apartment I won't be coming back for a long time, but I promised Ji I would get lunch with him and I can't just call it off now. It'll be fine just some stupid anxiety I think.

Deep breaths Yuri, the likelihood of something bad happening in low. I'm just going to go out and eat and talk with my best friend. What's the worst that can happen? I stab myself with a fork, or I trip on the walk? There's nothing to be worried about.

One last kiss and I open the door to our apartment and head down to the street. The cafe is only a ten minute walk so I don't bother driving. Something still feels really wrong, like something is just not in place and that something bad is going to happen.

I just need to breath and get over my anxiety, it's so stupid that I'm feeling this way. I just need to take deep breaths and focus on my walk. I pass the rink on the way and I'm almost tempted to inside and skate till I calm down like I do whenever I'm anxious on my days off. I can't though I have to be there soon I don't have the time to skate or go home. This is so stupid Yuri.

I finally make it to the cafe and Ji is waiting there at one of the outside tables for me. I guess a small part of me wished he would have forgotten so I could go home and stop this stupid anxiety attack. I'm excited I get to see Ji before he goes to America to live with Leo. The two of us have really happy since we broke up; I got with Otabek and he got with Leo. I think we're better as friends, and he agrees.

“Hey Yura!” He gets up and wraps his arms around me, I missed him over the few months it's been since we last saw each other at worlds, it was great and I won with my lust programs.

“Hey Ji, how are you? It's been forever.” I laughed squeezing him before going to sit down at my own seat, I know Beka has a pretty big dinner planned so I'll eat something like a salad.

“I'm fine, excited for my plane tomorrow. It's kind of nerve wrecking though, going to move in with a boyfriend.”

“I bet, since Beka moved in with me I don't really understand it. But I would guess it's terrifying to leave your home country with no idea of anything.”

Ji nodded and sighed. “I think things will be okay and Leo will take care of me. I think America is going to be nice.”

We chat for a little longer before ordering, Ji gets Pelmeni and I get a salad. After we order we talk more, I've almost completely calmed down, I should've known nothing bad was going to hap- Oh shit! No, no, no! That isn't real! She isn't there. My mother is not standing on the other side of the street glaring at me. She's not supposed to be here! She's in prison for the next five years! How the hell did she get here. Fuck, fuck… Wait last week that weird call I didn't pick up. I deleted the voicemail too because I thought it was- Fuck. That was probably something about her release. Oh god, oh god. What do I do?!

“Yuri! Yuri what's wrong? Yuri! Snap out of it you're drawing blood!” I look down breaking the eye contact with my mother, to see five half moon cuts in my arm where blood is dripping from and my nails are covered in blood.

“Nothing Ji d-don't be worried I just need to get home now.” I say, home I have to get to Beka he can protect me. Wait but what if she follows me! What if she hurts him. I-I need to do something. Maybe I can run into the bad part of town and then zigzag back home. That's a good idea right? Fuck I can't think of anything different.

“Yura! Why?! What's wro-” He looks over and his eyes widen. He sees her too, so this definitely isn't me hallucinating. “Yuri is tha- YURI! Yuri come back!” I know Ji can't outrun me without breaking his ribs thanks to his binder so I break out into a strong sprint trying to get as far away from that crazy woman my mother is as possible.

Why she coming after me? I thought this was done after I was rescued! I thought I was free, I thought they follow that fucking restraining order. I guess I should've known they wouldn't but I thought I still had five years to get ready for this. What does she want to do to me? Kill me maybe? I wouldn't be surprised she always threatened to kill me. Especially after the court case. I think I know why… I got taken away was after I was beaten rather badly after I accidentally revealed I had a crush on the cute boy in my ballet class… When I went back a year ago… They still told that I was nothing to them and when they got out they would get me. Fuck… What is she going to do to me?!

I'm not sure how far I've run but I'm starting to get tired, my legs burn, I can't breathe, but I can't stop running. If I stop running I could very well die. I'm more than likely to die. So I don't stop but I've noticed something, there's a car trailing me. I look desperately for anywhere to go inside like a store. But there's nowhere, nothing. I'm going to die! I'm going to fucking die! I can't run anymore, fuck my legs feel like they're burning.

I eventually trip over my own feet unable to hold myself up. I see my mother and two men get out of the car. I do the last thing I can do and start screaming. “HELP ME! PLEASE ANYONE HELP ME!!!” I know how pathetic I must look sobbing and screaming in a place where no one can hear me.

“There you are you little brat!” Myra grabs me by my collar and slaps me hard across the face. I don't care though I have to do something so everyone knows something is wrong. I'm barely able to do it but I get out of my mother's grip. I'm not going to get out of this, my mother plus to guys will easy hunt me down, but there's something I can do. I rip my purse off my body and toss it into a nearby alley way.

Please find it Beka… I need you to help me. While I was distracted one of the men must of come up because I feel something connect with my temple and everything goes black.


	2. Yuri Week one: part one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me explain something before the fun starts: So in Cannon Kubo said there was no hate in the Yoi universe, Hellverse runs in a very similar vein Hate is not a major problem no country has any major discrimination laws, but there are small but very active, very dangerous pockets of very hateful people.

What happened? Where am I? Oh… oh fuck! FUCK!!! Focus Yuri, you’re awake, but you can't see. There's a blindfold over your eyes, and my hands are tied so that definitely happened. Okay, great fuck. I'm going to die, mom hired people to kill me. Why wouldn't she? She thinks I'm an unstable disgraceful brat. I have to get out of here! I have to get home to Beka. If my hands weren’t zip tied behind my back, and I wasn’t blindfolded I try to jump out of the car. Yeah, it'll hurt and I'll break a few bones, but death is on the line here. 

I have to focus… I have to get home. I have people who want me home. Beka, JJ, Ji, Viktor, Yuuri, Mila, Georgi, Grandpa, and Yakov. I have to get back for them. I just have too. Great okay they've noticed I'm awake. 

“He's blindfolded and tied, he's not going to be a problem. He should be thankful I didn't gag the fucker, if he starts screaming though I won't hesitate.” It's not Myra… Who is it then? Probably the people she hired to kidnap me. “And anyway I'll just knock him out if he's a problem.” 

I can't get knocked out again then I definitely have no chance at escape. I need to think, I need to get out of here. I’m sitting down in a seat so I can’t punch out a back light… And I’m buckled in so I can’t just swing my body and hope for the best. I can’t start screaming yet because I’ll get gagged or worse knocked out and if that happens I’m fucked. 

I wonder how long I’ve been out, it was about eleven thirty when I was at lunch if only I could see, I’d at least have an idea of the time. I wonder if anyone has started looking for me yet? Please be looking. Beka, Viktor, Yuuri, Mila, anyone please be looking. I wonder if they found my purse that should tell them something is wrong if they haven’t already figured it out. They’ll find me, they have to find me. How long is it going to take? How much will these people be able to hurt me? Or maybe they’re taking me somewhere just to kill me. What if they don’t find me before it’s too late!? Will Otabek be okay? JJ? His kids, my godkids? Ji? All of them… Breath Yura, you’re not going to get out of this if you have a panic attack. 

There’s no way out though… They made sure of that I’ve rubbed my wrists to the point of bleeding already. I can’t give up hope. If they stop somewhere I’ll start screaming even if I only get a minute before I’m gagged it’s the best chance I’ve got. But they don’t stop anywhere They just keep driving for what I think are hours. I don’t know, all I know is that I’m terrified and I want to home.

When they do stop I’m yanked out of the car I’m in by my hair, I’m used to having my hair pulled but this fucking hurts. We’re in some kind of place in the middle of nowhere. This might be my only chance to escape, it’s going to be hard especially with a blindfold and zip tied hands. I somehow wrestle my body, still sore from the running and the hard fall from earlier, and just run. I know I’m going to run into something or trip but I can try to put as much distance away from me and my kidnappers, maybe I’ll have chance. 

Of course My stupidity and impulsiveness doesn’t work for me again and I trip over a root in the first ten seconds, I land face first and with my hands tied I have no way to push myself back up; Great! Great! Just fucking fantastic they’re going to kill me now. Why can’t they just shoot me or stab me or whatever already why must they drag me around by my hair while laughing at my struggling. I can’t even see. 

A cool rush of air hits my face. Are they taking me inside a building? I guess so. I’m forced onto a cold metal stool, maybe I ran get up and try to make a run for… Oh shit… I feel cold medal press to my temple. A gun. “Don’t struggle or this goes off.” Well there goes my idea about running.

The blindfold is removed from my eyes, the light is harsh, especially since I just had the blindfold taken off. I blink trying to see where I am. My eyes flick to the gun pressed to my head… That’s really a gun, and it’s pressed to my head. I can’t breathe, they could easily kill me, I’m helpless. I can’t slip into a panic attack, I need to think clearly. If I panic I don’t have a chance. I really don’t have a chance either way with fucking gun pressed to my head. I see a woman come near me with a pair of scissors, I expect to feel pain somewhere but all I feel is wind and my head feels weird. What is she cutting? Suddenly the blonde lock falls in my vision. “No! Don’t cut my hair!” This is probably the least of my problems right now but, I’ve worked so hard for it to grow right and stay soft. Why are they cutting my hair? I bet this is just to humiliate me before they kill me. 

“You’re not a girl, only girls have hair like that?” What? Okay, fuck that, lady… So this is what this about; the fact I’m gay, good to fucking know what I’m going to be killed for. Fuck. I would struggle and try to hit her, but I don’t want to die. I wish I could just go home. Can I just wake up? If I wake up I’ll be in Otabek’s arms and everything will be okay. It’s just a bad dream, it has to be a bad dream. I watch my long blonde hair slightly curled from being in a braid fall to my feet. This isn’t the worst thing they could do I suppose. Hair grows back eventually, though if they kill me I guess this won’t be problem at all. My heart is beating extremely fast, my chest hurts, I feel my palms sweat too! I want to go home! I want Otabek! JJ! Anyone! 

“Fuck you.” I hiss under my breath, I’m scared and they’re going to kill me, what do I have to lose? No one seems to hear or they’re used to this because nothing happens to me. It takes fifteen minutes but the lady finishes cutting my hair, there’s a giant pile of hair at my feet. I shiver looking at it. I promised to never cut my hair again when I was ten, it was a way to rebel against my parents after Grandpa was made my legal guardian, and now by my mothers doing its been cut short, I hate it! I feel my eyes grow wet. Fuck, I shouldn’t be showing weakness right now. I have to be strong.

They can’t move me around by my hair, so they untie my wrists so that they can drag me along, I debate trying to run, but the gun returns pressed to the back of my head. Okay… I don’t think I’m going to be escaping at the moment. I let myself be led along fists clenched, I want to fight, I want to try to run. I don’t want to die. 

“Put your hands on the wall.” The gun presses me to the wall and I do as I’m told. If I do what they tell me to do maybe I won’t get killed and someone will help me. I pat me down, don’t they know if I had a weapon or anything I would have used it already. I don’t like them touching me, if there wasn’t a gun I would tear these people limb from mother fucking limb. I would snap their necks. Thinking of the awful ways I could kill them helps me stay calm as they pat me down. When they finish they throw grey sweatpants and a grey t-shirt with holes and stains at me. I don’t want to know those stains are. “The door will be locked so don’t try it.”

I understand I’m supposed to change into the gross old clothing, it’s disgusting and I really don’t want to. Well it's gross clothes or never seeing the people you love again Yuri make your choice. I quickly change into the gross clothing. God these smell horrible when was the last time they were washed? I don't really want to know the answer to that do I?

My hand reaches back to run through my hair for comfort; oh right… I sit on the little chair and wait for my captors to come get me. Think of something happy Yuri, just to distract yourself. Think Of Beka… Think of JJ… Whatever you do don’t think of them being scared that you’re hurt, don’t think of them desperately searching, don’t think of JJ knowing something is wrong because of the bond but having no idea, and definitely don’t think of what would happen if you never came back. 

Maybe they’ve forgotten though, or maybe they think my annoying bratty ass is better here. I can’t be thinking like that. If I think like that I’ll never get out of here, Beka and JJ are looking for me, they’re going to save me, it’s going to be okay. My hands are shaking again, fuck… I can’t show them I’m weak like this. I have to be strong. I am Yuri Plisetsky, I’m the ice tiger of Russia, I have the eyes of soldier I can survive this. 

Oh they’re back great… clench your fists don’t show you’re shaking. Don’t show you’re scared, anger and defiance show that instead. The gun is pressed to my head again making sure that anger and defiance doesn’t cause me to act out. They walk me to a hallway with lots of rooms, cells maybe? They open the door to one and smell of it hits me, and it’s not pleasant, I can’t place it but I don’t want to be stuck in a gross smelling pitch black room, I can't place it exactly but I know I'm not going in the- Oh right... gun to my head. Fuck me, fuck them, fuck this entire situation!

Though I don't want to get shot in the head I walk into the room and smell intensifies, it smells like a gas station bathroom. This place is disgusting! I'm guessing from the smell this place doesn't have… FUCK! The door closed. “NO! NO!” It's pitch black in here, god I hate the dark. Hiding in a closet waiting for Avdei to get home… Hoping he wouldn't find me. Yuri don't have a flashback, not right now Yuri! I have to stay calm. I can't breathe! I can't fucking breathe! “LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GODDAMNIT I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!! BASTARDS!!!” 

My cheeks are soaked and I slump down to the ground, my screams turn into soft whimpers, I can barely speak anymore. More tears make their way down my cheek. Where are they, I know it's only been a few hours but… I thought they'd be here by now. The carpet I'm laying on his ratty and has holes in it, God this place is gross, I'm not the biggest neat freak but God I can't take this. Maybe if I go to sleep I'll wake up with Beka… Maybe this is just a horrible dream.

I feel my eyelids grow heavy. I'm so tired. Nothing changes when I close my eyes.

Gah! What the hell! It's too bright! “Don't touch me.” I growl trying to look through the bright lights, my hands are restrained again but with handcuffs not zip ties, I guess that's an improvement. 

“Shut up.” Says one of the people dragging me along, where are they taking me? Are they going to kill me now? Wait a second there's no gun… They probably have guns on them… Should I try it? Okay Yuri, I’m going to do it. 

Three, two, one! I shove my arms out and force myself to my feet, the two men look shocked that I was able to force myself up. Run or fight? Run. I take off in the opposite direction. I have no clue where I am or where anyway out is, but this could be my last chance. Think Yuri, you have to get out of here now! The concrete is rough and hurts my bare feet I hear footsteps behind me that are also running, more than one, But I’m just in this hallway with no doors either way. Goddammit! Goddammit! There has to be someway out of here. Ah Fuck ouch! “Get off of me! Let me go basterds!” I feel the cold metal press to the back of my head, I freeze. 

“Behave or I’ll shoot.” The voice is younger than the man from yesterday but I can tell from his voice there’s no pleading with him to help me. The two men from earlier come and grab my arms and drag me, I want to fight, but I don’t want to die either. I just have to go along with this. 

They drag me to something out of place for I thought it would be. I simple room with deep blue walls and normal shag carpet. There’s a desk, two chairs, and a small bookshelf but that’s it. Compared to where I thought they would take me this is weird. “Sit.” The two men sit me in a chair and stand by the door, guess I’m not escaping. After a few minutes, a middle aged man comes into the room. What… 

“Yuri Morozov?” Myra must’ve told them my birth name, fuck that.

“My name is Yuri Plisetsky, and you will let me out of here right now.”

“Your mother said you would refuse the last name. She said after you ran away you started calling yourself Plisetsky after your Grandpa’s last name.” Ran away? How old does this guy think I am?

“I didn’t run, I was taken away from my parents at ten, and anyway I’m nineteen, I could leav-” The man slams his hands down on the desk.

“You’re sixteen in my notes. Don’t try to lie to me Mr.Morozov, your mother told me everything.

“My name is Yuri Plisetsky! Do you not watch the fucking news? I’m a world famous athlete!”

“So your mother was correct you are a chronic liar. And your such a handsome young man, it’s horrible that you are the way you are. Ladies would fall in love with a face like that.” 

“I don’t like ladies. You should know that if Myra told you everything.”

“That is the reason she had you sent here.” Of course it is… I feel like I should’ve known this coming.

“Well I’m nineteen and a legal adult, so even if you hate me for being who I am and having a boyfriend, you need to let me go and I’ll be calling the police on this place. This isn’t legal.”

“I’m not going to believe a liar.”

“I’m not fucking lying! Let me leave right fucking now!” My stomach is tight, if I didn’t have these handcuffs on this guy would already have two black eyes and broken nose.

“Mr.Morozov you-” “THAT’S NOT MY FUCKING NAME!!!!” I shoot up and my hands try to wrap around his neck when the handcuff chain draws taunt. Fuck! The two men grab my arms and grab me away from this stupid old man, before I change my attack method. I see him writing down something on a note pad as I’m dragged away.

I struggle but neither of them let go of me until they take me back to my cell. “You fuckwad bastards let me the fuck go, right fucking now!” The door closes and left alone in the dark again. I shouldn’t waste my voice this time, I should be figuring out I’m going to get out of here without fight, because that’s not going to work. 

I wander around the room until I find a mattress, it’s hard as a rock with no pillows and one thin scratchy blanket. I guess I didn’t notice it last night with all the adrenaline last night but this room is freezing, even though the blanket. I hate this place so much. I feel so fucking helpless, my body folds in on itself my chin on my knees. I feel tears slip down my cheeks and I start to shake.

I want to go home. Please… I want to do it again… I want to dig my nails in my flesh it’s been almost a year since I last did it but all this is getting to me, I need to control something. I’m not going to do it, I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again, I promised Otabek and JJ I wouldn’t do it again. I’m not going to do it again. I need to do it. I need to feel like I’m in control of something! Anything! I roll up my sleeve, I’m not going to break skin, I’m not really hurting myself if I don’t break skin. I drag my nails down my arm, a shaky sigh of relief escapes me. I shouldn’t be doing this. I need to stop. I can’t stop. It hurts. It’s the only thing I have. I don’t do it in the same place more than a few times because if I break skin that’s when it becomes self harm; for now it’s just relaxing the only way I know how. 

No Yuri this isn’t okay. You need to stop… Well what else could I do, I don’t have a book or my phone so I can’t do either of my other relaxation methods. Well maybe music isn’t outside of the question, I could try singing… But what? I could do my songs that I thought about for this season. “It’s raining men, hallelujah it’s raining men, hmmm.” God this isn’t working… I still want to scratch. Fuck! 

I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to fucking do it. I’m going to be strong. I have to be strong. The door is opening again. God fucking damn it, maybe they'll give me something to eat or drink. I'm thirsty as fuck. Nope apparently not. Both of my wrists are roughly grabbed, okay these people are getting smarter. Maybe I shouldn't of put up such a fight. It's either walk or have my feet dragged along hard concrete, guess I'm walking. 

We walk to a small room with metal chair. What? This isn't… Okay then. “Wait here.” 

Something feels really wrong, maybe it's the plain concrete wall and floor. It's just a sick feeling. I sit here for a while counting the cracks and scratches in the walls. The ones closer to the door look like people tried to latch on. This isn't good.

I'm dragged roughly into a room and- oh shit I'm fucked! This is the shit you see in horror movies not real fucking life! There's a small computer with wires and electrodes coming out of it and metal table with restraints. Fuck! “LET GO! NO! DON’T YOU SICK BASTARDS!!!” Ow! My head hits hard to the table. “OTABEK!!!! JJ!!! FUCK!” They tighten the restraints around my ankles and wrists, I'm helpless! The electrodes are sticky and that's the least of my fucking problems! No! Make them stop! “HELP! JJ, OTABEK PLEASE!!!”

A pill is forced in my mouth. “Swallow it or your hips will break.” I don't trust this, they're going to electrocute me! Why should I am fuck swallow this! Well if my hips break I can't skate. Why is that what I’m worried about right now? I don’t have a choice anyway... I gulp down the pill, I don't have a choice. “Good.” The man laughs and goes to the computer. A few other people are here but they're just looking at other screens and- “AH!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!” This must be breaking my skull and back! It hurts so much! “STOP!!! PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP!!! BEKA, JJ!!! PLEASE ANYONE!!!” I can't breathe it hurts so much, my body is one fire.

Finally, it stops, I can't stop shaking. Please let that be the end, please. “You’re still awake, most people especially the first time don't get through the first round.” He laughs before flipping the switch again, lightening floods me again, my brain whites out and so does everything else.

I wake up god knows when later in my cell on the mattress. My head hurts so much, I can't even think. Where the fuck is the painkillers. My hand reaches and bumps something. A cup of water! As much as my head hurts I need a drink. I force my body up, gah fuck! My head. My hands shake as I lift the cup to my lips. Fuck the water is cold and feels amazing running down my throat. 

Did they fucking electrocute me? What the actual fuck!? I thought these people were insane but fuck… How often am I going to be dealing with that? Something tells me that isn't going to be a one time thing. Goddammit! My head is killing me, it feels like someone stuck white hot irons in it. 

I finish the water faster than I meant to but this is the first good thing that's happened since I got here, I got excited. My head hurts so much I can’t even think, I was really hoping that was all just some terrible dream. I wish it was some terrible dream and I would wake up in Beka’s arms and it would be just like any nightmare. I'm so fucking scared… I haven't felt this helpless since I was ten.

I wonder how long I was out… Fuck… How long have I been here? Is it really that easy for my perception of time to get this fucked up? I've only been asleep two times… but I don't know how long I was sleep either time? Oh my fucking god… All I'm sure of right now is that my head feels like it's six sizes too small, and I can't see anything in here. 

I should do something and at least try to distract myself… I could try exercise, my head hurts but it might be worth it. I would train if I had a headache, I would also take pain killers but I would still train. 

I stand up and try to ignore the pounding in my head, I'll just do basic stretches that I could do with my eyes closed because that's how it feels right now. Okay there's the wall. I sit down and start doing a hamstring stretch, oh god stretching sucks when you have a headache. There is something oddly comforting about doing my stretches though, and it's probably a bad idea to fall out of my routine I'll be rescued any day now I'm sure… As long as I keep thinking like that I think I can survive. Beka is coming and so are the others, they love me they wouldn't abandon me.

“You’re joking right?” Viktor? That sounded similar to his voice.

“Who's there?” 

I wait a few minutes but there's no response. Strange… All this stuff is getting to me. I'm just going to focus on my stretching until I do everything that I can in the darkness with such A tiny space. My head still feels like someone is driving a white hot iron in my head, but emotionally I feel a bit better, as better as I can feel in this whole situation. 

Maybe I should try to rest maybe I'll feel better when I wake up at least my head will stop hurting a little. I wish this room wasn't so cold and the mat I'm sleeping on wasn't so hard. I pull the blanket as close as possible and try to sleep. 

Ah! Hey! Why isn't dark? My eyes burn! Turn out the fucking light! “Ow! Stop it don't touch me!” They're Going to shock me again! No! No! “I'm not going back there! Get off! H-Hey what are you doi- Ahh!” A scream and a sickening snap happen at the same time follow by a sharp pain in my wrist. I don't want to look but I can feel it's not in the right place. Did they just break my wrist?! “Ah! Let go!” 

“Stop fighting or I’ll break the other one.” The man dragging me says oddly calm like he didn't just break my wrist!

I let them lead me, I don't want both of my wrists broken, I’ll figure out how to fix this later. Maybe I shouldn't fight the more injuries I have the harder it'll be to escape when I have a chance. 

Hey… This isn't the room where the shocking happened… What is this. There's a wood table with restraints… In any other situation I'd probably find it hot. 

“You're about to be tortured and the first thing you think of is sex?” A voice says, that sounds strangely similar to… JJ? What the fuck? For one he would never say something like that, two-

“Ow!” My head slams against the wood! Well that definitely helped my head ache! “Stop! That hurt! What is wrong with you sickos!?” They're already going to torture me in someway why should I hold back? “Fuck you! Fuck-” Great! There's a fucking clothe shoved in my mouth. I can't spit it out! Fuck what are they going to do me? I don't like this. Is that a jug of water? What the fuck is happening? 

I CANT BREATH! Oh god there's water in my nose and I keep drawing it in though this cloth! I can't breathe! It hurts! My lungs feel like they're on fire! JJ! Otabek! Anyone!? Help!

A gush of air enters my lungs as the cloth is removed. I never knew how thankful I would be for air, fuck… My stomach tightens and I can't seem to stop what comes from my mouth. “Fuck you! Fuck you all! Let me go you mother-” Fuck! Why are you always this impulsive?! 

Oh god they're pouring the water on me again! Please no! Please god no! Make it stop! Make it stop! Why would anyone do this?! What did I do to deserve this?! Help me! Please! Anyone! My vision starts to turn grey at the edges and starts to tunnel, fuck… I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Please! I want to go home! Whatever I did to deserve this I’m sorry! Air feels like fire when it hits my lungs but god… It's better than the fire that it was without oxygen. Fuck… Please don't let them put that back in my mouth please. I feel the straps at my ankles give way but not the ones on my wrists, I can already feel the one of my broken wrist do more damage. Fuck this isn't good.

I catch my breath shaking, I want to cry and curl up into a ball like I did when I was beaten as a child. I'm not going to give that satisfaction of seeing me cry. “Let me go.” Somehow I still have the courage to say that.

The buckles on my wrists are undone and I'm pushed on the ground. “Still has some fight in him? Wow his mother was right he is a tough little bitch.” The man whose speaking foots connects with my stomach. I curl up and I feel intensely nauseous I'm able to get my head away from my body fast enough to where I puke on his shoes rather than all over myself, I can't help but feel a little triumph.

“You son of a bitch!” At least he has something right. Ow! That kick was much harder I feel sick again but before anything happens another person I can't quite see right. Kicks me in the head, well now my vision is fucked. The whole world is spinning really fast and I'm getting dizzy. 

“That'll teach him. Maybe we should give him a few cuts to remember us by for when he finally gets out of here, If he does. either way it'll be fun to cut him up. Do you think we should put him back on the board or someone just hold him.” The voice sounds like a woman but I can't be sure with how much my ears are ringing, I see blood pooling under me… And a sharp pain in my nose. Fuck! First my wrist and now my nose! 

“Hoist him on the board he won't be able to fight as much.” I fight as much as I can clawing if they're going to hurt me anyway may as well damage what I can. I lash out and leave pretty deep scratch marks on one of the people’s neck. The restraints are tighter than before especially around my broken wrist, I’m not sure if it’s really tighter or if it’s just painful because it’s broken. I see a knife, oh no. I don’t want scars I already have enough from my childhood, I don’t want scars from this too. 

I hate to say I recognize the feeling and sound a knife on skin, mostly from my own choices. The scratching the cutting I promised that wouldn’t happen again, but here I am, rather than me cutting my skin with a knife they’re doing it for me. They start with my legs, please don’t cut too deep, please don’t hurt the muscle, I need to skate. Please don’t take that away from me! Ah! It’s better they cut my chest than my legs, it hurts a little more but it won’t do any damage. I feel blood drip down and stain the already torn and stained clothes I’m wearing. I can’t really struggle away even though it hurts, I’m losing a lot of blood, I don’t want to die. Finally it stops I hear arguing and yelling. 

“Wrap him up, I never said kill him he still has a while before I give up. He has some potential, even if he’s pretty set in his ways.” I don’t know if I should thank the voice or scream at it, probably the second but I don’t have the energy. “Wrap his wounds so he doesn’t bleed out.” I try and keep my eyes open and see what they’re doing but my eyes are heavy and I feel dizzy.


	3. week 1 part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took this long, writer's block is terrible, but I have something now!

I can never tell when I wake up in this hell hole, it’s always black unless they take me out of the room, though I don’t know if I prefer that either. It’s just too quiet in here, I’ve tried singing, I’ve tried screaming, talking to myself, I’ve tried everything. It’s like this room absorbs sound. I’ve also been given no food or water since the first time being shocked half to death, that’s happened again. I hope they at least give me water soon, my throat feels insanely dry, my head hurts like hell.

They refuse to tell me how long I’ve been here, I guess it’s a psychological trick to make it harder to keep up my hope. I couldn’t tell if it’s just been a few days or weeks, everything feels like it’s moving too slow and too fast at the same time. I am proud of myself however, I haven’t scratched my arms since the… I think the first day. That’s a good sign I guess.

As I slowly start to wake up the throbbing pain begins to worsen and center in my left wrist and nose… Oh right… I reach to touch my nose and I realize how bad it’s broken, it’s completely swollen so is the area under my eyes, my breathing is a little funny and noisy but I can still breath, that’s good I guess. My entire face is still covered in blood, I probably need to go to a hospital, but what’s the likelihood of that happening? 

My wrist is just as bad, I’m glad I’m right handed because I can feel how badly it’s broken, I hope it's not permanently damaged though. I know both bones need to be set, the only problem is I have no tools to that; I know how to make a splint, I don’t have anything to do it with, I don’t even know if that’s the proper way to set a wrist. I should just be glad they didn’t hurt anything below my waist, as long as they don’t hurt me too much there I should be able to skate. I just need hold onto that, once I get out of here I’m just going to get back to my life. Everything will be fine.

Think of the good things, think of the twins, my godchildren. Gabriel and Blaine, I can’t wait to see them again. I was going to see them at Rostelecom, and Isabella’s pregnant with another, a little girl I think. She’ll be giving birth any day now. Little Lily. I got to throw the baby shower for her. It was me, her friends, and few of the ladies skaters who were all friends. Focus on the good things like that, how you’re going to get over here and spend time with the boys. Everything will be fine. Everything has to be fine.

I wonder if Beka has told JJ yet… Probably. The entire world probably knows I’m missing, I’ve never been dead silent on social media for more than two days, and that was only when huge competitions were coming up, I don’t know how long I’ve been here but it’s been more than two days, and Rostelecom isn't for a few weeks or is it? Fuck… All I know is that people should have noticed I’m not acting like myself. 

I hear footsteps, please not for me… Please, not for me. They stop. Please, I can take the overwhelming silence and the dark, just no more. Being shocked half to death twice and waterboarded is enough. Nothing happens. Just footsteps. Thank god. My chest hurts, I still can’t breathe, hyperventilating with a broken nose is even more fun than just hyperventilating. 

I know I shouldn’t be wishing pain on other people but, god everything already hurts, I feel like I’ll die! I can’t take anymore, where is everyone?! I thought they would be here by now… I thought they were coming to save me!

“You really think anyone cares enough?” That’s Viktor’s voice! It sounds like Viktor! 

“W-What? Viktor!?”

“Yes, Yurio?” I definitely hear him but I can’t… Why would he… Unless… Am I hallucinating? 

“You’re not real Viktor! Just shut up and leave alone.” I really don’t want to hear anyone who I care about in here even if I know they’re not real.

“I may be from your mind but you know I’m right. No one really cares, no one is looking for you, Rostelecom is near do you really think any of us have time to find a sniveling brat?” Viktor wouldn’t say that… No, no he wouldn’t… This is just my brain. Maybe if I just make sense of it it’ll go away.

“You’re retired Viktor. A-And you would look for me… I know you.”

“I have to prepare my husband for it though so I don’t time, anyway I don’t really care, all you ever do for everything I do for you is yell and throw temper tantrums.”

“I’m not like that anymore, I’m trying to get better! You of all people know I’m trying! You know why I even have anger issues in the first place!” Why am I even talking back!? It’s a fucking hallucination I must be crazy or something. Maybe if I ignore it it'll go away.

“Yuri, stop lying to yourself, you know no one likes you and they just pity you. It’s almost sad that you think we like you. You’re just a small little, lost kitten who can’t do anything but whine. You deserve to rot in here. No one ever wanted you, all they did was pity you. You of all people should know that.” I shiver and try and shut the voice out, it’s coming from my head even if it doesn’t sound like it. It has to be right?

I want to scream, tell this thing to shut up. It’s not Viktor, it’s not really Viktor. It’s my mind playing tricks on me, I’m stressed, dehydrated, and hungry, that’s the only reason this is happening. Stuff like this has happened before under stress, never as direct as this but voices telling me everyone hates me, I’m okay, this isn’t real. How do I prove it… Think Yuri, something to make it shut up for five seconds! 

Though everything is quiet now? Is everything over? What the hell was that? It felt so real. I shiver and close my eyes. I have to get out of here before they kill me. Beka is coming, he has to be. I just have to keep my hopes up. That’s all I can really do until someone comes for me. Maybe I can try and figure out where I am, that way I could at least attempt to find my way back. I don’t know how far I am from home. It felt like an hour long drive, but how reliable was that I was unconscious for a lot of it, and I was terrified and blindfolded the rest so god knows how long it really was. I should’ve been counting, or done something to keep time. 

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!” I scream and bang my head into the wall in frustration. My chest heaves though I barely feel the pain. I’m scared. I just want to go home. I’m never going to get home! I have no clue where I am! No one knows where I am. If I had just stayed with Ji I wouldn't be in this mess. I’d be home with Beka, maybe watching a movie or something. I would do anything for this to just be a bad dream. I want to be with Beka, Jean, anyone else. Maybe if I wasn’t such a fucking idiot this wouldn’t have happened to me. Maybe that hallucination was right… Maybe I am just a worthless brat who’s just meant to rot here.

Footsteps again… Fuck… Please, not me… Just leave me alone. I want to go home. I try and hide the fact that I was bawling just moments ago in case they come for me. I won’t show them weakness, they might kill me. But I’m not going to die without my dignity. Deep breaths, I’m not going to break. I’m strong, I can survive. I lived through ten years with my parents. I’ve just grown soft from the fake promise of peace and happiness. I’ve been through hell once. I can do it again. You have to stay strong. The light is overwhelming. I just hope I can keep fighting as long as I need too. I need to for Beka, and Jean.


End file.
